so I tried to write a novel

I picked at my imagination so hard that it’s a bloody, mangled mess. I do this. I pick at things. I poke bruises and peel scabs. I rub things between my fingers until they fray. There isn’t a fucking thing in this world I can’t destroy with my compulsive need to be perfect. Is that what it’s even about? I think it’s just madness masquerading as perfectionism. Because I was a kid that found a dying butterfly and made it into a lump of colored dust and little bug parts, a Darla shaking the shit out of Nemo to understand it. My paintings are proof — layers and layers of caked up paint as I demand the meaning of life to show in every stroke.

I’m in a dead end relationship with myself…a little girl who only wanted to be important when she grew up, and the animal who tried to make it happen with claws and teeth, and called itself an artist.

Before and after

It’s a painting makeover!


I enjoyed my first “Open Paint Night” this weekend — which is probably the greatest thing since my middle school art teacher let me come in after school. It was great to have a second pair of eyes, experienced ones at that, looking over a piece that has given me so much difficulty, and then re-envisioning it.

This was actually the very first painting I ever designed for myself. It’s very rough, clunky, and just…blah. I never liked it but it came to the point where the paint was so thick and caked on there that it was simply time to let it go… And yet the inspiration behind it meant SO much to me that it hung in that living room for years. And until recently, it was almost the last thing I’d ever paint.


And now look at it! What a makeover! Complete with China marker white doodly things! It’s my favorite! 

aglio e olio & amore

I started my weekend so hungover that I didn’t think I would get anything done, and yet I made some more progress on my client’s Hollywood film strip wall (forgot to take a picture of the latest logo), finished a personal piece of art, and (co)made a fabulous dinner last night!

Let me back up and assure you that I didn’t deserve to be as hungover as I was. I really didn’t drink a whole lot (for me), I ate plenty of food (as if there’s ever any doubt of that), and drank a lot of water (again, for me)… So what the heck went wrong? I was practically bed ridden the next day! I mean, WTF? Is this because I’m almost 30? Is this the beginning of the end?

Don’t answer that…


So this is called “Love Potion,” I decided this morning. And just for fun, I actually have a recipe, which ties into some of the concepts and imagery I have in the piece.

-a dream wrapped in old newspaper
-countless wine soaked memories
-a real fake engagement ring
-a pinch of heartstrings
-pearls of orgasm, to taste

directions: mix gently with your eyes closed, until bubbling, bursting and fragrant…always seal with a kiss.

How cute, right? I amuse myself, haha! I actually really like this painting, even if parts of it are awkward and messy. I’m awkward and messy. More and more I find myself looking for areas of imperfection, or where I can see paint built up or smudged or something. It tells a story, sometimes coinciding with the theme of the piece itself — when I’m lucky. And in this case, I think I was.

And now for a REAL recipe! Baby and I make this all the time. It is the simplest, tastiest dinner and I canNOT get enough, ever. Adapted from a Barefoot Contessa recipe, which I’m ashamed to admit but damn that bitch makes some good food.

Aglio e Olio with Angel Hair

Ingredients

1 lb dried angel hair pasta (or whatever you want. it’s all the same.)
8-10 cloves of garlic (depending on size…I always add more if I have those stupid skinny cloves.)
1/3 cup olive oil (your favorite…Ina calls for ‘good’ stuff, but she says that about everything. it’s basically your main flavor though, so not Kroger brand would be my suggestion.)
1/2 teaspoon of red pepper flakes (less if you don’t like spicy — like 1/4 would be better if you’re worried about it)
1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
1 cup grated parmesan (plus more, because cheese) (yes that’s the end of that statement)
wine, if you have it
SALT (seriously)

Directions

So get your water going early for the pasta, because you need reserved pasta water for the “sauce” in this. Add two tablespoons of salt (I know. trust me.) and bring to boil, cook noodles to package instructions, yada yada. You get this part. The point is, before you strain the pasta and set it aside, you need 1 1/2 cups of that pasta water. Now, while this is going on, my husband likes to add the olive oil to a skillet with the garlic and red pepper flakes and cook it on low while we make the pasta. We think it brings out the garlicky flavor more in the oil. Who knows. Then when it gets to the point that you’re almost done with the pasta, we raise the heat on the skillet and cook the garlic until it’s just starting to get golden. Do not burn the garlic. It will be sad for everyone. Then add the pasta water and a little wine if you have it (this isn’t traditional, just something I do because I like wine. surprise.) Also add a teaspoon of salt (not a low sodium dish). Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and let it reduce by a third. I have a terrible eye for this reducing business, so I usually just call it good when I am too hungry for the simmering to go on any longer. Add your pasta, parsley and parmesan, tossing it all together. You want the pasta well coated with a little of everything. To serve, top it with some more parm and parsley.


SO GOOD.

(Have you guys noticed that the only recipes I put up are some variation of pasta and cheese…?)