why not?

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Just as I was ready to declare I’d never paint again, this popped out. It started off as some weird, late night, drunken paint doodle of a girl and this abstract meets anime black sheep lady face concept (I know) that had to be promptly painted over. The background was basically born out of my love of blue and black cherry paint colors and the struggle to cover up my whoops. And then when I got to the point of the tree I decided it needed something else, so I asked husband dearest what he thought.

“I don’t know why, but I see gazelles.”

Why not?

Those were inspired by these cute statues we have at work. Actually they are directly plagiarized from the those cute statues at work. I found a picture.

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speaking of owls…

I did some more things while cooped up/should be resting but is arting everywhere instead. I made music note shaped wax melts! With (too much) bamboo fragrance, my own dried basil, and soy wax! I call them “Bamboosiled.” Eeee!!!

Oh and this painting came out of a low cycle…

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And this thumbnail doodle comes from a happy place.

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My Favorite Things

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This doodle might grow up and be a painting, but we can’t really know for sure until it does evolve (ha, Pokemon joke!) And it’s a selfish, completely ME sort of work…

No really, it’s a few of my favorite things.

This has been a shitty year. Right now I am literally dealing with a post surgery wound, a still fresh mental diagnosis, a bite plate (see also: giant hunk of plastic in one’s face), 40 extra pounds, a creativity crisis AND I’m going to turn 30 any day now (see also: April 10th). There’s also a rash somewhere we won’t talk about. All this coming off the heels of leaving a really glamorous, high paying job to a safe, Anne Hathaway at the start of Devil Wears Prada sort of position that I love but doesn’t pay my exuberant credit card bills. And then I find out the local theater is doing my favorite musical and due to all this and more (see also: not skinny or blonde or young enough), I won’t be a part of it.

It’s the Sound of freaking Music. And as I was stewing in all this, wondering why I like the simple, outdated, cliche…totally nostalgic, heartfelt show so much, dwelling on how I can’t be a part of it and that sucks, blah blah blah and it occurs to me… There’s a song in there that I know SO well…and duh. This is exactly what it’s for. (Cue corny musical chord.) Now I don’t know about schnitzel with noodles, but I do know that owls and watermelon and mushrooms and wine and Jason and nail polish and Pikachu and so on are my favorite things.

So the plan is to paint this, maybe in a classier color scheme and certainly with more saturation. If I can’t sing it I’ll paint it and… And then I (hopefully) don’t feel so bad.

Weekend Update

I was super duper productive. The only creative endeavor I didn’t undertake was writing, which I guess I’m doing now, so yeah. But I do have a novel idea! One that doesn’t seem like hypomanic psychobabble, so yay me!

Okay, first of all I decorated Christmas cookies for the first time in a friend’s class. I love them so much — even the ones that suck! I was able to get out of my head and risk being imperfect, and I wasn’t socially awkward for once. Major successes! Plus, COOKIES. Come on!

I also started on my Christmas presents to everyone — these cute little Pinterest faceless elves made of polymer clay.

I shall paint them and name them Squishy and they shall be my Squishy. I was super stressed about an affordable, unique and homemade gift for the million people I know…and then these little dudes came along! Happy days.

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I also did a weird doodle. Several, but this is the one that made the cut.

If you can’t tell, I like to either keep busy or sleep. There is almost no in between. But I am a person who can keep busy wondering about whether or not there’s a secret world in deep ocean water. Or maybe it leads to deep space, like a wormhole. Or heaven, since we are all made mostly of water and that seems to make some kind of spiritual sense.

Yeah, you see?

I didn’t know I was painting

This piece was kind of like those episodes of I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. I sat down to doodle and a painting popped out. And it’s just like something I would do — female form, loose/abstract/lazy style, weirdness creeping in the corners, acacia blooms, faith…

Faith.

Faith isn’t an easy thing. I think that’s what I wanted to get out in this piece. Faith is work, people. Paint it up like pastels and fairy tales but having faith is a craft.

Also, I’ve had some wine.

sometimes the silence guides your mind

I’ve been ruminating on this concept for a while, and now it’s beginning to take shape! Hurray! Although, this is always the scary part for me… I’m very comfortable drawing, but painting is another story. I enjoy the process (mostly), but there is an element of chaos to it too. Kind of like walking my dogs. I love my dogs and they’re super cute, but they pull on the leash, dart after rabbits, stop to sniff mailboxes, and just make pests of themselves in general. Drawing comes easily and I’m always in control, but then I long to incorporate color. Ideally I would choose something like colored pencils or pastels, which work well for me… But there’s something attractive about the layers and texture of paint to me. I can’t get it out of my head. Eventually I’ll allow myself to redo some of this stuff in another medium, but I already know how that will look. With paint it’s always a surprise…and I kind of like that. It’s like surrendering to the universe…

That’s a little what this painting is going to be about, actually. Getting covered in blobs of color and attempting to find some design in the muck. I lack the restraint and discipline to use actual techniques, after all. I sort of just assault a piece of canvas for a few hours until I’m tired and hangry. #livingthedream

The struggle is real

Dear future tattoo artist,

I’m looking for a portrait of my soul
Something to show on the outside what I am within
Just a snapshot
You know, a thumbnail
Because I have a feeling that I, too, am small
But rich
Like perhaps a truffle
A little is enough

Or am I more like a butterfly?
Dainty and delicate
With zen doodled wings of color to save myself from predators
But ultimately prey to a strong wind

Like a feather
A beautiful, magical, left-behind thing
(Or are they just lost…?)

Hmm, so how about a bell?
A big wound and a heart
That rattles around, falling into walls
Tumbling and tinkling
Sometimes just suspended there
Waiting to be struck

What about orchids?
I love orchids
Everyone loves orchids…
So then again, maybe not

What else, future tattoo artist?
Music notes or stars?
Pretty script and symbolism and twirly-do’s?

Maybe just vines…

Ugh

I feel like I’m trying to tie a cherry stem with my tongue
A solitary challenge
How can you help me with this knot?

Signed,
Truly interested (but…)

On Any Given Sunday

I loooove painting eggs on Easter. But there’s little reason to when you’re a family of three adults who don’t actively practice any sort of religion. But I was still feeling creative so I took to some watercolor paper instead.

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I can’t get this Sugar Zombie girl character out of my head, as you can see.

The initial drawing of her here was so sharp and I wish I had taken a picture of it or kept it as it was. But I wanted to try watercolor and once again found that it’s not really my thing. So I slapped some charcoal and whatever else I could reach on this and…voila. It’s very dark and although it’s a mistake I think it suits the mood. I’ll probably redo this at some point. Good exercise.

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I also have this concept I have to get in color for a client. But I’m an artist so I can only be productive in small doses…