I finally did it. I sold a painting. Two, actually. The first was an old, angsty piece from a long time ago:
And the other was specifically commissioned for by the customer:
I could hardly contain myself, I was so excited. Cloud nine. You’ll notice I say this in the past tense, as in, not anymore. Because I have the shittiest luck…
In a blur I went to the mail center to ship to my customer. I was so anxious, I had never shipped a painting before and it felt a little like I imagine parents feel when they take their kids to day care for the first time. I balked at the price — $50 to ship them to Illinois. But I didn’t ask questions, I just paid and said goodbye.
All week I thought about them. Would the package hold up? Would the customer like them as much in person?
Well, the paintings never showed up. Fedex says they were delivered but my customer does not have them. They have until Wednesday to recover them, and if they don’t I have to file a claim. I didn’t think to add signature service — they didn’t ask me and I’ve never done this before.
So two fragments of my heart are lost in the world…and I have to give the customer something. I am repainting them, which is a grueling process. It’s like trying to relive a moment in perfect clarity. I finished one:
It doesn’t look as good as my original, but the concept is there. I don’t know if I’m just so disappointed that I can’t be happy about replicating it…
Has this happened to anyone before? It’s a first for me…I didn’t even consider it as a possibility.
So it’s been a while, but I’ve been busy! I started working with a new client on a mural – a jungle scene in his bathroom. Here are the first round of photos – still plenty of work to be done…
This was somewhat challenging as jungles are all about depth and layers, which is hard to portray on a flat surface…especially in a bathroom with varying heights and widths to the walls. But I enjoyed myself and I look forward to continuing to build and expand this vision! It’s also very nerve wracking as I paint things I’ve never attempted before – like tigers and parrots. But if you don’t explore, you’ll never discover, right?
After another bad day, a simple, whimsical idea struck me. I haven’t begun painting it yet, but just the process of drawing it out has been cathartic. After the muck my other painting became, this is a good sign. A much needed one.
It’s done, the pastel dust has settled…and I lost. I learned a lot. Like heavy black lines are NOT always a good idea. A light color will never cover a dark color. Bigger is not better.
Trust your instincts.
The truth is this painting died moments after I sketched it out and outlined it in sharpie. That’s when the itch to draw had been scratched and I remember thinking that the design was too weak to go on. But I spent too much money on the canvases and had no other inspiration calling, and so I plowed on, unhappily, until tonight when at sometime before 8pm I called it.
I’m frustrated still. I hit when I should have stayed and I busted, but can you blame me if I was only at a 16 with this painting?
Does that make sense to anyone else but me?
I’m not posting a picture because in a rage I shoved the pieces out of sight and I’m not ready to look at them again.
I keep meaning to blog, but I then I just…don’t. I suppose that’s because I have no new art to report, although I have been working on a piece. It’s been pretty draining. See, I decided that I’m going to start selling my art. So I got fancy, expensive canvases for this half-baked trio design aaaaaand… it’s become the bane of my existence. It’s such a large surface area that it’s taking FOREVER, and the depth of the canvas means I have to paint the sides too! (Which is not easy on top of trash bags on the floor with a new tattoo on my ankle that I’m still babying.) I’m going to have to charge $500 for this thing for my pain and suffering alone.
Here’s the WIP:
So what’s going on with me? I’m still convinced that my medication affects my writing. I don’t feel as creative in that capacity. Not even for poems. I guess it’s a small price to pay for sanity…but it’s still kind of sad to think about it.
So this is me, tuning out…
I repainted one of my clay pieces. I’m not sure if I like it… I sort of miss the pink color scheme, although it was so sloppy I couldn’t leave it that way. My art always has an element of slop to it, but it’s all about balance (something I struggle with). I also painted something but I basically hate it so here’s a really shitty picture taken from the couch while I pouted.
I actually had more greens and yellows in this painting, but it looked a little…cartoony?? I don’t know. But now the lady looks too monochromatic and the background is so BORING I could die.
Thoughts? (Ooh, I’m getting ballsy asking for feedback!!! O_O)
This doodle might grow up and be a painting, but we can’t really know for sure until it does evolve (ha, Pokemon joke!) And it’s a selfish, completely ME sort of work…
No really, it’s a few of my favorite things.
This has been a shitty year. Right now I am literally dealing with a post surgery wound, a still fresh mental diagnosis, a bite plate (see also: giant hunk of plastic in one’s face), 40 extra pounds, a creativity crisis AND I’m going to turn 30 any day now (see also: April 10th). There’s also a rash somewhere we won’t talk about. All this coming off the heels of leaving a really glamorous, high paying job to a safe, Anne Hathaway at the start of Devil Wears Prada sort of position that I love but doesn’t pay my exuberant credit card bills. And then I find out the local theater is doing my favorite musical and due to all this and more (see also: not skinny or blonde or young enough), I won’t be a part of it.
It’s the Sound of freaking Music. And as I was stewing in all this, wondering why I like the simple, outdated, cliche…totally nostalgic, heartfelt show so much, dwelling on how I can’t be a part of it and that sucks, blah blah blah and it occurs to me… There’s a song in there that I know SO well…and duh. This is exactly what it’s for. (Cue corny musical chord.) Now I don’t know about schnitzel with noodles, but I do know that owls and watermelon and mushrooms and wine and Jason and nail polish and Pikachu and so on are my favorite things.
So the plan is to paint this, maybe in a classier color scheme and certainly with more saturation. If I can’t sing it I’ll paint it and… And then I (hopefully) don’t feel so bad.